


Bottled Feelings

by SynthDetectiveDiMA (WastelandCryptid)



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Emotions, M/M, Nightmares, sad gays have sad and/or gay talks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-16 08:56:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8095945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WastelandCryptid/pseuds/SynthDetectiveDiMA
Summary: Soldier: 76 had been married before the fall of the old Overwatch, but, as they say, “until death do us part”. In that way, he still was, but that is a story for another day.
In which nightmares lead to a conversation between two men both dealing with a lot of inner demons, which bring forth discoveries of both old and new.





	

_ Fire. Burning. _

_ A whole building descending on top of them. _

_ Chaos. Destruction. _

_ Betrayal. Why? _

_ Screaming fills his ears. Screams of dying agents. The smell of blood, of burning flesh, of death. It was overwhelming. _

_ He hears a loud roar over the sound of destruction all around him. His heart aches at the screams of his husband dying, falling backwards into the fire and destruction.  _

_ He was probably also screaming; he wasn’t sure. He couldn’t move, could barely see. _

_ There was no chance he would survive this. _

_ Until death do us part, my love. _

_ Jack closed his eyes, as he felt himself finally falling unconscious, the sound of destruction in his ears. _

 

* * *

 

Soldier: 76 opened his eyes.  Everything was quiet. 

Jack glanced at the clock on his bedside table.  _ 2.43 AM. _ He sighed, raising a hand to rub over his face. While he had no doubt that the memories of Gabriel's dying screams would never leave him, he would like to wake up without being plagued by nightmares, thank you very much. 

Well, there was no way he was going to be able to fall asleep now anyway, dying screams and light from dying embers dancing behind his eyes whenever he closed them, so he might as well get up. Maybe he could find somewhere to be at peace with his thoughts.

Grabbing a shirt and a pair of pants he quickly got dressed, his wedding ring still kept on a chain around his neck. He grabbed the secondary visor, the one that lacked the full face guard that the tactical visor did, putting it on and activating it as he was slowly making his way towards the base's kitchen area. While he wasn't completely blind and could make his way around without it, he still preferred the way it enhanced his impaired vision. 

Entering the kitchen, he realised that he was not alone. Sat at the corner of one of the tables was Hanzo, sipping quietly from a steaming mug of what appeared to be tea,  seemingly lost in thought.  He didn't look up, but the small nod he made in Jack's direction signified he had noticed he was there. Jack took a seat at the same table. 

The silence is perhaps surprisingly neither awkward nor uncomfortable. Everyone at Overwatch had their own respective demons to battle, their own set of nightmares that kept them up at night, so there was a certain understanding as to why either of them would be up at this time. 

"While I do not doubt that whatever is keeping you up is something only you can process," Hanzo spoke up suddenly, "bottling everything up inside is not good for you, 76." Hanzo gave him a small smile. "Is there anything you would like to talk about?" 

Jack studied him for just a moment. His eyes looked tired, as if he was carrying far too much emotional baggage on his back, and he was clutching the mug of tea like a lifeline, trying to keep himself together. 

"I could say the same thing about you, Hanzo" he counters. Hanzo's smile faltered, but he gave a small nod of agreement. 

"That is probably correct, although I have had far too much time to think." He looked down, took a somewhat shaky breath and looked up at Jack again. "Do you know what happened to my brother?"

Jack almost didn't stop himself in time to say that yes, he knew exactly what happened to Genji. He remembered seeing his mangled body barely clinging onto life, seeing the stress on Angela's face as she did everything she could do keep him alive, the hopelessness in Genji's, well, not in his eyes but in his entire body language, as he slowly learned how to deal with his new cybernetic body. Jack mentally reminded himself that no, he was Soldier: 76 to them now. He was not supposed to know those things. He was never there. 

"I...” he hesitated, which Jack did not doubt that Hanzo noticed, "I know enough to know that if you don't want to say anything more I understand why." Silence fell over the kitchen once again. 

"It was today," Hanzo finally said quietly, barely more than a whisper. "The anniversary of the day I destroyed my brother."

"Oh," was all Jack could answer to that. They didn't speak for a while, and Hanzo had gotten up and refilled his mug of tea, wordlessly getting a mug for Jack as well.

“Are you married, 76?”

The question surprised Jack for a moment, until he realised Hanzo was looking at his chest, to the hand he’d raised to gently hold the wedding ring around his neck without noticing. Jack sighed. 

“Yeah. It was a long time ago, but then-”, Jack started but then cut himself off, the emotional pain from his recent nightmares still too fresh in his mind. He took a deep breath to steady himself. Thinking about what happened was generally not easy on most days, worse on others, but Jack wanted to. He'd been living under the title of  _ Soldier: 76 _ , the lone vigilante, for so long that he would love to, just for one moment, just be Jack Morrison, former Strike-Commander of Overwatch and married to the late Gabriel Reyes. 

“He's gone now, and I miss him so much,” Jack said, “and the last time I saw him we fought, and I just… I wish that hadn't been the last time I spoke to him, because right after that…” Jack didn't know how to continue his retelling of what happened while maintaining his cover story as Soldier: 76. 

“I understand, Commander Morrison. You do not need to continue further if you do not wish to,” Hanzo said, and Jack went absolutely still. _How did Hanzo know?_ _Who had revealed his secrets?_

“I'm not your Commander anymore,” he muttered, because he didn't know what else to answer. “How did you,” he started, then stopped, though for a second, then continued, “it was McCree, wasn't it?” 

“Only partially,” Hanzo answered with a small smile. “Jesse has told me some of his past, including his time with the old Overwatch. That and the way you appeared to know more about Overwatch and some of your fellow agents than a lone vigilante would know gave me enough to make an educated guess.” Hanzo got up, put his empty mug in the dishwasher then returned to the table. 

“You shouldn't need to worry, 76. Your secrets lie safe with me until the moment you wish to reveal it to the rest of the team,” Hanzo assured him before quieting and tilting his head ever so slightly as if listening after some far-away sound that Jack had yet to notice. The answer came only a few moments later, when a still half-asleep looking Jesse McCree somewhat stumbled into the kitchen, a faint hint of worry on his face. As he took note of the scene before him, he visibly relaxed somewhat. 

“Hello Jesse,” Hanzo greeted him, with a smile on his face, without even turning around to face the other man. 

“Hello darlin’,” Jesse answered, “just wanted to check up on ya. ‘Cause I woke up an’ you weren't there, then I remembered what day it was so I just wanted to make sure ya were okay and-”

“I'm quite alright, Jesse,” Hanzo interrupted the rambling cowboy. “Thank you,” he added, getting out of his chair to leave the kitchen with Jesse. 

“Hanzo,” Jack called after him before they'd left. Hanzo turned around. “Thank you,” Jack said, “for the conversation, and the tea.”

“Likewise, 76” 

The two men left the kitchen, no doubt heading back to either of their rooms together, but before they'd gotten too far Jack heard a fading mumbled conversation. 

“So wha’ was that all ‘bout?”

“That I won't share, Jesse”

“Aw, come on, darlin’”

“No, we all have our own secrets, and I intend to keep them until 76 wishes to reveal them.”

“Ah, yeah, fair enough. Let's head back to bed, love.”

Jack smiled to himself slightly. As he was putting away his own empty mug he thought to himself. Maybe the sounds of Gabriel’s dying screams would never leave his memory, but maybe one day he could wake up without nightmares. That would probably not be soon. He'd spent far too much time internalising all his pain and bottling up his feelings to be ready to do that, but maybe one day. 

Maybe. 

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is the first fic I have ever posted, so please be nice.
> 
> If you have any questions about the content of this fic I will gladly share way too many headcanons that I have about certain parts of this fic, including a bit of material for potential sequels.
> 
> [Russian translation](https://ficbook.net/readfic/4774545) by Nirraein (external website)


End file.
